Just found out today that it will roast a picture you upload. Thought I would give it a try and just uploaded some random photo I had on my phone. Kind of crazy how a computer comes up with this from just a photo.
The picture.
The Roast:
This man looks like he’s about to deliver a TED Talk titled “How to Mansplain Football Using Only Vague Metaphors and Inaccurate Stats.”
My man’s rocking those blonde highlights like it’s still 2003 and he just left an NSYNC tribute band reunion. That hair didn’t walk into a barbershop — it walked into a time machine and said, “Give me the Guy Fieri, but make it ‘SEC Dad Edition.’”
Those frosted tips are the physical manifestation of a midlife crisis that smells like Old Spice and regret. You just know he asked his stylist for something that says, “I yell at refs from the couch, but I also listen to Dave Matthews Band unironically.”
He’s got the mic setup of a Grammy-winning artist, but the vibe of a guy who hosts a podcast called “The Locker Room Truth” that five people listen to, and one of them is his mom.
That orange tie is tied tighter than his grip on Auburn’s glory days. And the way he’s clutching that mic? Bro’s talking into it like it owes him child support.
And don’t get me started on the bourbon obsession. You know he’s got a shelf of overpriced bottles behind the camera, and every time he takes a sip, he does that squinty-eyed nod like he just discovered a new flavor of wisdom. Bro treats bourbon like it’s holy water and he’s the high priest of St. Buffalo Trace.
He drinks bourbon and suddenly thinks he’s Hemingway with a headset: “See, what folks don’t understand about Auburn’s O-line is exactly what you’ll taste in this 12-year rye — underdeveloped, a little spicy, and mostly disappointing.”
That man definitely has a custom whiskey glass etched with “Gridiron Philosopher.” And he 100% calls it “a pour,” not a drink. You offer him Jack Daniels and he looks at you like you just insulted his lineage.
And that background? “Auburn Sports” repeated 500 times like it’s gonna manifest a winning season. Newsflash: no amount of logos can hide the fact that he’s broadcasting from what looks like a glorified walk-in closet.
This whole shot screams, “I have very strong opinions about 19-year-old quarterbacks I’ve never met.”
The picture.
The Roast:
This man looks like he’s about to deliver a TED Talk titled “How to Mansplain Football Using Only Vague Metaphors and Inaccurate Stats.”
My man’s rocking those blonde highlights like it’s still 2003 and he just left an NSYNC tribute band reunion. That hair didn’t walk into a barbershop — it walked into a time machine and said, “Give me the Guy Fieri, but make it ‘SEC Dad Edition.’”
Those frosted tips are the physical manifestation of a midlife crisis that smells like Old Spice and regret. You just know he asked his stylist for something that says, “I yell at refs from the couch, but I also listen to Dave Matthews Band unironically.”
He’s got the mic setup of a Grammy-winning artist, but the vibe of a guy who hosts a podcast called “The Locker Room Truth” that five people listen to, and one of them is his mom.
That orange tie is tied tighter than his grip on Auburn’s glory days. And the way he’s clutching that mic? Bro’s talking into it like it owes him child support.
And don’t get me started on the bourbon obsession. You know he’s got a shelf of overpriced bottles behind the camera, and every time he takes a sip, he does that squinty-eyed nod like he just discovered a new flavor of wisdom. Bro treats bourbon like it’s holy water and he’s the high priest of St. Buffalo Trace.
He drinks bourbon and suddenly thinks he’s Hemingway with a headset: “See, what folks don’t understand about Auburn’s O-line is exactly what you’ll taste in this 12-year rye — underdeveloped, a little spicy, and mostly disappointing.”
That man definitely has a custom whiskey glass etched with “Gridiron Philosopher.” And he 100% calls it “a pour,” not a drink. You offer him Jack Daniels and he looks at you like you just insulted his lineage.
And that background? “Auburn Sports” repeated 500 times like it’s gonna manifest a winning season. Newsflash: no amount of logos can hide the fact that he’s broadcasting from what looks like a glorified walk-in closet.
This whole shot screams, “I have very strong opinions about 19-year-old quarterbacks I’ve never met.”
